I was trying to write a poem this evening but it just didn’t go to plan! Lol! I will try and quote some of what is left throughout this post.
The title, like this blog post was “Do you ever wonder?” Wonder is an interesting word. Like, when you tell someone you’re going for a walk with no real intention of going anywhere in particular; you tell them you’re going for a wonder. Do you ever let your brain just wonder? Just let it go wherever it wants to go. Do you have good thoughts or bad thoughts?
The premise of the poem was do you ever just sit and think about life.
Do you ever wonder what might have been? Where you might have gone, what you might have seen?
Do you ever sit and think about where you thought you were going to be; and where you are today? Do the two match? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; life is an odd one folks. I think the big issue for me is, if you were to ask, “OK, who is Michael Willis?” I honestly don’t believe I could answer the question. Is that bad? I don’t know to be honest.
Do you ever wonder who you might have met, if in instead of right, you’d chosen to turn left?
I arrived in Canada on January 11th 2011. It’s nearly 5 years since I first set foot on Canadian soil. 5 years folks! What a 5 years it has been! I have met some awesome people; and really have done some cool things. Did you know, I have a picture of Australia on my wall? Australia is my dream destination. I chose to come to Canada over Australia; and often wonder how different my life would have been if i’d gone there instead of here.
Some people say I only came to Canada to run away; now I feel like, if I go to Australia i’ll just be running away from Canada. Life is difficult. It’s fair to say, when I stepped off the plane, walked up to immigration, gave over my passport and answered the question, “Why are you coming to Canada”, with “To make my fortune”; I didn’t realize just how difficult life would be over here. I guess I thought life would be simple.
Now i’m 5 years in, 60lbs overweight with no job. HAHAHA! Not quite what I had envisioned.
Do you ever wonder what would have happened, if you had reached for that star? Do you think you would have made it; would you have got very far?
Some people say I would have been a great actor. I can pretty much pinpoint the moment I stopped acting. I would say where and when but I auditioned for a part once. I didn’t get it. Not because I wasn’t good enough; I was born to do the part. I didn’t get it because of stupid politics. It was given to a friend of the girl that was auditioning. I walked out of that audition and never once went back to acting. Could I have made it? Who knows. Like I said, life is a funny one. Could I have gone to drama school? Could I have gone to an audition and won a part that would have propelled me to superstardom? Probably not; you just never know though do you. How different would my life have been if that girl hadn’t given the part away to her friend, but had given it to me? How different would things be if i’d gone back; and not refused to step in to that group again?
Do you ever wonder what your life has in store? Does it excite you, or does it bore?
I think for me, this question comes down to the fact that I really don’t know what I want to do. I just don’t and i’m not going to lie, it scares me. I’m 27. I know; there are people much older than me that don’t know what they want to do, but i’ve never seen myself as the same as those people. I did a personality test once; I was deemed a Commander. I have the same personality type as Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Napoleon, Steve Jobs etc – men that have accomplished more than most will ever accomplish. Yes, I honestly do believe that I am someone that can and will accomplish something incredible but I get scared that I won’t ever reach my full potential. I sometimes wonder if those men, who accomplished incredible things, still feel like they never quite made it – I wonder if that feeling ever goes away?
I was talking to my friend tonight about why I just lost my job at EventMobi. If you ask some of the salesroom about me, they’ll tell you i’m the most arrogant sod you’ve ever met. I really am very sorry if I came across that way guys; please don’t think it was intentional. It wasn’t. I put a lot of pressure on myself. Every day. And (according to my friend) that means that I sometimes walk around with a certain “energy” – she’s basically saying I can be a bit of a prick! lol! You might have looked at me and thought, “Mike thinks he’s the best sales person in this room”; honestly, it’s because Mike doesn’t think he’s anywhere near the best salesperson in the room and wants to be, more than anything in the world, that Mike can walk around with a certain “energy”.
I know this might sound really bad, and i’m sorry if I offend some of you, but I honestly believe in my heart of hearts that i am meant to be the best salesperson in the room. I know that might sound odd to some of you; but i’ve always just felt like i’m different in some way (no i’m not drunk! lol)! That doesn’t mean that i’m going to trip people up to take first spot, that absolutely isn’t it at all; it just means that if i’m not number one, i’m going to put a lot of pressure on myself. I don’t even think about it, it just happens. That’s why, when my old boss told everyone that I was fired because of my performance, I wanted to walk in and slap him. You ask ANYONE that knows me – i’m one of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet in your life.
The other thing that my old boss said is that “I sell myself… ALOT”. Like, “I did this, and I did that! etc” – guys, let’s just get this out there – you know when I do that; I’m just looking for you to accept me, right? Do you think I walk in and want to brag about things? No! It’s because i’m like, “if I do this, maybe they’ll like me”. Again; it’s not intentional, I don’t really THINK about it… it just happens. if he had pulled me aside after the first week and been like, “Hey Mike, you honestly don’t need to do that, we all like you” – I would have stopped. But, because the salesroom was cliquey, and I didn’t really feel like I fit in; I guess I kinda overcompensated on the ‘trying to fit in’ thing.
I know I ranted a bit today! I guess I just had a lot on my mind.
But, do you ever wonder what life has in store for you?
If you have made it this far; read this, it made me cry: [Click here if it doesn’t show]