I felt I wanted to write this, as I’m not sure about the rest of you, but I have come to learn that me not liking someone, is usually associated with me either being jealous of them, or finding a trait in them that I have, and I don’t like about myself.
Let me give you an example. I have a “friend” who worked with two people that he ‘didn’t like’. Jack (not real name) was arrogant and cock-sure, and obviously insecure; Jill (again, not real name) was extremely popular. For example, she would walk in, and everyone would be like, “Oh hey Jill, how are you today?” blah blah blah – they never asked my friend how he was!
For a long time; my friend used to look at the both of them, and HATE THEM, especially if he was in a bad mood, for example if he was struggling with his work.
But here’s the thing; think of a time that you were angry. More specifically, think of a time when you were on your own, and angry. Do you play self-depreciating thoughts in your mind about what people may or may not be saying about you? Over and over again? Do you beat yourself up, perhaps even give up on something, because you just “can’t be bothered anymore”?
Now, think that through…
What people might be saying about you.
When you are sat on your own.
When there is nobody there.
It’s all in your mind…
…yet it has the power to ruin your workout / down time /day!
For me personally, it took a long time to realize it was literally all in my head.
Let’s go back to Jack and Jill (yes, I chose those names deliberately) and my friend; lets start with Jack. Do you know why my friend didn’t like Jack? Because he reminded him, of himself and more specifically, a part of himself he didn’t like.
Jack would sit in the office, moaning about what did and didn’t work; and would not offer up a solution. Worse that that, Jack would act like he owned the place; even though he never actually did anything significant.
So why didn’t my friend like Jack? Because he knew that he had a trait similar to Jack’s; he knew he did some things that Jack did, and knew it wasn’t a good trait to have.
Every time he was judging Jack, he was actually judging himself. It was all in his head. He was beating himself up, every time he thought about Jack’s negative traits.
And Jill, every time he saw Jill, he’d get annoyed. Why? Because of how popular she was. She’d walk in to the office and everyone would be like “Oh hey Jill!” But was he really actually annoyed at Jill? Of course he wasn’t. He was jealous of how “unpopular” (at least in his head) he was.
So what did he do?
Firstly, he stopped hating on them both. People really do have their own stuff to deal with; they didn’t need him being feisty as well. Secondly, and more importantly, he took steps to work on himself.
He worked on showing more gratitude, which in turn, meant he was less likely to be mean or arrogant (like Jack). He also actively engaged in conversation with the people in the office (even Jill); which meant that after a few weeks, people started saying hi to him; and he wasn’t so upset about being “unpopular”.
And this is my point. How many people do you know that wallow in self-pity? Are always miserable? Yet haven’t tried one thing to improve their situation?
Don’t be that person. Is there someone you’re Jealous of? Hech, you might not admit it out loud, but deep down you look at them, and wish you could be a little bit more like them? What trait or thing do they have, that you wish you had? Go get it. Don’t sit there, and pity yourself, or be mean to them, because you haven’t got the guts to step up and do what has to be done.
Don’t look at someone who is arrogant and hate on them. That will make you both miserable. That will bring you negative energy, and if you’re reading this, you’re not someone that wants negative energy, you want positive energy. What is it about them / you that you don’t like? What can you do for YOU to make you less like them? Go do it.
Don’t be a “Tomorrow Person”, or an “I can’t do it Person” or an “It doesn’t matter that much Person”, be a “Hech yes, I am going to GET IT DONE Person”. Figure out what it is that you need to do; and go frikkin do it.
Have a lovely day.